


We Click

by brookwrites



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 01:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13800372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brookwrites/pseuds/brookwrites
Summary: Dan wanted to meet Phil in real life, but Phil kept refusing. Dan was confused and heartbroken; after all, they clicked so well. Finally, Dan decided he needed to get to the bottom of Phil’s feelings.





	We Click

u wanna skype l8r 2nite?

Dan took a deep breath before sending the message. He knew Phil was just leaving class and probably wouldn’t answer for a few minutes, but the small, grey check mark right beside his message still shook him to his core. 

He threw his head back against the wall, his laptop remaining open on his lap. He’d been in his bed all day; in fact, he hadn’t left his house in weeks. He wasn’t even sure when he was going to leave next. 

It’d been three months since he’d graduated from secondary school, and he hadn’t any plans for the future. Uni was already in session, and he was still living in his childhood room. He told himself he was just taking a gap year, but really he didn’t have a clue what he was doing with his life. The only thing he had that provided any sort of a hint of what needed to come next for him was Phil. 

Even though he’d never met Phil, he was his everything. He couldn’t touch his pale skin. He couldn’t hold his soft hand. He couldn’t wrap his arms around him and never let go. He couldn’t press their lips together and feel the fireworks he’d spent his entire life waiting for go off. He couldn’t even look into his multi-colored eyes through anything better than a blurry laptop camera. Yet somehow he knew, Phil was going to lead him into the next part of his life. At least that’s what he thought until everything began to fall apart. 

They’d Skyped every day for the last week, and every day Dan brought up wanting to get a train ticket to Manchester and meet Phil in person. Every day Phil turned him down. He never gave a real reason, he just didn’t want to meet Dan, and it fucking killed him inside. Dan was never happier than when he talked to Phil, and he once thought Phil felt the same way. They seemed to click so well; yes, it was a bit of a pun, but it was how Dan felt. He thought they fit together better than he had with anyone else. Hell, they were even dating... Kinda. It was the Internet. Everything was complicated. Everything had to be complicated. 

Except it didn’t! Dan’s mind screamed that thought. It didn’t need to be complicated; they could just meet in real life, and then it wouldn’t be so complicated anymore. Yet, for some reason, Phil didn’t want to do that. Dan’s mind raced with irrational reasons why; this is something it had done for days now, but it still hadn’t stopped. Did he find someone else he’d rather be with and just didn’t want to hurt Dan’s feelings? Did he not really like Dan? Was it all a charade? 

It couldn’t be. Dan had never connected with someone as well as he did with Phil. It couldn’t all be fake. It couldn’t be. 

But still, he couldn’t help but wonder... Why won’t Phil meet him? 

A ding went off on the laptop in front of Dan, pulling him out of his toxic thoughts. 

yea sure! let me get settled and we can talk in a few xD

Phil was going to Skype him. Finally, Dan skipped to the point he’d been trying to reach all along. Tonight, he was going to find out why Phil didn’t want to meet him. 

The soft, calming tones of the ringing call came through on Dan’s laptop. It completely contrasted the mood in his heart; his entire being was screaming from fear as he clicked the small, green button to answer the call. 

“Hey Phil!” 

“Hey Dan!” 

“How was your day?” Dan asked a simple, normal question. He needed to talk to Phil a little while before he dropped the bomb that could end their relationship. He couldn’t do it without some final happy memories. 

“Good, I guess,” he sighed. “Class was boring. I was thinking about Skyping you the entire time.” 

Dan felt his cheeks blush a deep red. He felt so important, so valued when Phil said things like that. But how could he really feel that way when he wanted nothing to do with meeting Dan? 

“Well, you’ve finally got your wish,” Dan chuckled, taking a deep breath and looking away from Phil on the screen. “I wish we didn’t have to Skype...” 

“Dan...” Phil said, disappointment evident in his tone. Dan turned his head to look at Phil on the screen. He almost had the face of a mother ready to lecture her child. “You know we can’t meet.”

“Why though, Phil? Why can’t we meet? I have the money for a ticket! I’m 18! I can go where I want! There’s nothing holding us back, damnit!”

“I know, I just-”

“Phil, I love you! Evidently you don’t care that much about me, given that you’re not even willing to think about meeting me in real life, but I care so much about you and I don’t fucking understand why this is so difficult!” He exclaimed each sentence that spurted out of his mouth, anger beginning to consume him as everything he knew and loved seemed to slip from his grasp. 

“It’s not that I don’t care about you, it’s that I do!” 

Dan finally turned his focus to the screen, where Phil was beginning to tear up. “What?”  
“I don’t want to ruin everything.” 

“Phil, what do you mean?” Tears were beginning to rim his eyes as well, emotions running high as Phil wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

“Everything’s going so well here. We talk every day without fail, and I’ve never felt closer to anyone, online or in real life. We click so well, Dan,” he pleaded, presenting Dan’s own thoughts back to him. “What if we meet in real life and we hate each other? What if we don’t end up being the people we thought we were? What if we meet and find out we don’t really love each other. Damnit Dan, what if I’m not good enough for you?” 

Dan’s response should have come in a millisecond; he knew exactly what to say. Maybe it even did. But to Dan, all time stopped for a moment. He sat in a trance of his own mind’s making, staring at the screen of his laptop. The camera was the best technology, but in 2009 that wasn’t exactly very good. He could barely focus on Phil’s face, but he saw all he needed to. In that paused moment, he could see Phil’s bright eyes turned the color of the sea, something he assumed only happened when he cried. Dan had never seen Phil cry before. He’d never seen his cheeks shine from his own tears; he’d never seen his chest rise up choppily as he tried to take a breath. He’d never seen anything that made him break so quickly.   
Time snapped back into rhythm, and suddenly tears were rolling down Dan’s rosy red cheeks. He was so choked up he could barely speak, but he managed to spit out the only words that mattered. “Phil, you could never not be good enough for me.”

“I-I-I” Phil stuttered, taking a sharp, tear-filled breath in before every syllable. “I know-I just-I’m scared, Dan.” 

Dan took a deep breath, trying to clear the tears from his voice. “I know you are, and it really is scary. But it’s a step I”m willing to take, and I promise you, I’ll never stop loving you.” 

Phil chuckled, cracking a bit of a smile. “I think that’s a pretty shady promise, but there’s some unexplainable force in me saying it’s a good idea.” He looked straight at the camera, and Dan started straight into his sea-blue eyes. “I’m going to trust you.”

“Don’t worry,” Dan said, wanting nothing more than to reach out and grab Phil’s hands, holding them in his own. “I promise everything is going to be okay.” 

“Trust you?” 

“Trust me.” 

It was only a month later when Dan stepped off the train and onto a platform in Manchester. When he dropped his bags and went running for the jet-black fringe peering over the crowd. When he finally looked into Phil’s eyes for real, and they were a glassy, blue sea of joy. When he finally took his hand, kissed his lips, and pulled him into a tight embrace, never letting go. 

Dan knows now that Phil never planned to let go. Eight and a half years later, he knows he was foolish to think he ever would. Nowadays, he doesn’t need a promise to trust that they’ll never let go, but he’s allowing himself to say one anyway. After all, it’s his favorite kind: a promise sealed with a kiss. And even then, as their lips connect at the altar, it’s like the first time. Because still, after so long, they click.


End file.
